Great Leadership

A short guest post by speaker, author, and former comedian Jeff Havens:

Hello. I’m Jeff Havens, here to help you become the worst you can be. Today we’re going to focus on how to more effectively criticize others. Now I’m sure some of you are thinking, “That doesn’t seem very nice.” And it isn’t. That’s not the point. Pay attention, people, the purpose of this article is to help you uncrapify your life, not anybody else’s. And seriously, what could make you feel better than making those around you feel bad? This is something you’ve been doing since you were a child. But until now your efforts have been those of an amateur. I, however, am a professional. I’ve been criticizing people for a living now for the past seven years, and I’ve developed a foolproof system to help you feel better at the expense of those around you.

The first step is to frame your criticism with a well-chosen phrase that makes it sound like you’re actually trying to help the person you’re about to insult; that way, you will get the most pleasure out of their shock and pain. “No offense…,” for example, is an excellent choice for two reasons. First, nobody in the history of the world has ever said “No offense…” without following it with something moderately or entirely offensive. But more importantly, if the person you’re talking to gets upset, it’s really their fault, isn’t it? You weren’t trying to offend them – you just said so! – and they should really try to lighten up a bit. It’s airtight, and there are a lot of other phrases that are just as effective. “Don’t take this the wrong way…,” “I don’t mean to sound rude…,” “This isn’t going to sound the way I mean it…” – you get the idea.

The second step is the actual criticism itself – the meat of the insult, the heart of the wounding. All you have to do here is be original and descriptive. You want to hit people with something they aren’t expecting. “I don’t like you,” for example, is a very common insult, and as such is relatively ineffective at getting a reaction out of people. But if you were to walk up to a family member or coworker and say, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you contract an intestinal parasite” – you’ll get so much more joy out of the expression on their face. The best insults take time to formulate, but the reward is well worth the time and trouble.

Now I suppose this approach could work both ways. That is, you could theoretically create original, descriptive, and meaningful compliments and praises for those around you. All of us need to hear those things from time to time, and just about anything is better than a half-hearted “Good job!” that sounds more like a way to fill silence than it does an earnest attempt at sincerity. I mean, just imagine the difference that a single word can make. “I love you” is well and good, but you’ve also said it a million times. But when was the last time you told your children or your spouse “I adore you,” or “I cherish you”?

Hmmm….

No. Never mind. Forget I said anything.

About Jeff Havens

Jeff Havens is a former comedian turned college and corporate speaker. His newest book, How to Get Fired!: The New Employee’s Guide to Perpetual Unemployment, is available in all popular retail outlets and online at www.amazon.com and http://www.jeffhavens.com/.

Welcome to the September 5th, 2010 Leadership Development Carnival Back to Football edition! Yes, Fall is in the air, and the NFL kicks off it's season this Thursday with a rematch of last year's NFC championship game - the Saints and the Vikings.

To get in the spirit of the season, this month's Carnival is set up as if you're watching the big game, from tailgating to post game highlights. So grab your favorite snack and beverage and get ready for some championship caliber leadership development advice and opinions from some of the best bloggers in the league.

BTW, The United Way and the NFL are teaming up for the first Back to Football Friday, a celebration of the start of the NFL season and an effort to promote youth health and wellness on Friday, September 10. They are encouraging fans of all ages to show their NFL team pride at work or with their friends by wearing their favorite team’s gear or colors and planning parties, and to join the United Way and NFL's campaign to end childhood obesity. Anyone who registers is eligible to win a trip for two to Super Bowl XLV. One winning workplace will receive a visit from an NFL player at an NFL-hosted office party. Find out how to get involved here: www.LiveUnited.org/backtofootball.

The tailgate party:

We'll start this month's edition with a little warm-up in the parking lot.

Erin Schreyer and Mike Henry team up to give us some spicy grub with What Really Makes You a Leader? posted at Lead Change Group. Seems like everyone has an opinion on this one, with over 70 comments.

David Burkus gives us a bucket of my favorite food, with My Buffalo Wild Wings Rant posted at LeaderLab.

Jason Seiden brought the paper plates and napkins, with Life Is Messy posted at Fail Spectacularly!.

Who brought the beer? None other than Sharlyn Lauby, with The Business Case for Managing Ourselves posted at HR Bartender,

and Mark Stelzner, with  Why Morons Win posted at Inflexion Point.

Kick-off:

The game starts with a bang with lots of high scoring action! Here's Jane Perdue, our HR Goddess, with Excellence ? 1; Perfectionism ? 0 posted at Get Your Leadership BIG On!.

First to score is Art Petty with Leadership Caffeine-Give Your People Room to Run posted at Management Excellence.

Kevin W. Grossman gets a sack with Influential Leadership Can Trump Gender Bias posted at Leaders. Better. Brighter.™ The Glowan Consulting Group L3 Blog.

Bret Simmons is penalized for unnecessary roughness with Remarkably Unprofessional Behavior | Bret L. Simmons - Positive Organizational Behavior posted at Bret L. Simmons - Positive Organizational Behavior.

Wally Bock gives some veteran advice to the rookies in the huddle, with Simple Leadership Basics posted at Three Star Leadership Blog.

The 2nd quarter:

Jennifer V. Miller starts the 2nd quarter with a trick play -  The Z Factor posted at The People Equation.

Jim Stroup counters with something from his playbook, with his review of "Good Boss, Bad Boss", posted at Managing Leadership.

Mary Jo Asmus has some great coaching advice of her own, with On Being a Coach, posted at Aspire-CS.

Bill Matthies does a little end-zone celebration with Let The Good Times Roll (But Plan For The Bad) posted at Business Wisdom: Words to Manage By.

To close the half, Alice Snell puts it through the uprights for three points with Hardwiring Performance posted at Taleo Blog - Talent Management Solutions.

Halftime entertainment:

We've got a great musical line-up for your halftime entertainment! Miki Saxon starts it off with a couple hits from her latest album, Ducks in a Row, with Triple A Culture is One of the Worst, and Don't be Pizzled, Build a RAT Culture, at MAPping Company Success. What the heck is "pizzled"? You'll have to read the post to find out.

Anne Perschel brings out her amazing leaping leadership frogs, with  Leadership Leap Frog - How to Keep on Learning posted at Germane Insights.

Glain Roberts-McCabe brings back a classic band with Leadership Lessons from Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage a rockin’ focus on goals | RoundtableTalk posted at RoundtableTalk.

Adi Gaskell gets the crowd fired up with 7 ways to schmooze your way to the top posted at The Management Blog.

David Zinger closes out the entertainment with Employee Engagement, Self-Efficacy and Albert Bandura posted at David Zinger Employee Engagement.

The Third Quarter:

Bengamin McCall starts off the second half with an onside kick, with Your Title is Boss, not Jerk, posted at REThink HR.

Nissim Ziv recovers a fumble with How would you Describe Your Leadership Style? posted at Job Interview & Career Guide.

Kris Routch breaks a long run with Leadership Lessons from a 16-Year-Old, posted at DDI’s Talent Management Intelligence blog.

Nick McCormick is up in the booth looking for answers, with Ask Yourself, "What Can I Do?" posted at Joe and Wanda on Management.

Andy Klein runs a draw play for big yardage with Organisational change needs leadership of employee creativity posted at Fortune Group Blog.

The Fourth Quarter:

This game is a nail-biter, so stay with us.

Michael Lee Stallard returns a punt for a big gain with Burnout Results From Living in Conflict with Values posted at Michael Lee Stallard.

Michael Cardus reminds us that there's no "I" in "teamwork" with Leaders develop structure for teams posted at Create-Learning Team Building & Leadership Blog.

Mike King runs an all out blitz with Examining Your Own Belief Structure posted at Learn This.

Sylvia Lafair runs a creative play with Leadership, Creativity and Getting Unstuck posted at Sylvia Lafair - "Elegant Leadership".

And right at the final gun, Chris Stowell runs it in for a score with Leadership Is Needed Now: Don't Wait To Develop Your People posted at Leadership In Action.

The post game show:

Mike Miranda checks in on the NBA highlights, and gives us Lebron…meh…Gen Y has done Better! posted at Y the World Goes 'Round.

Lois Melbourne reviews the highlights with Be an Accountable Leader and Get to Lunch First!

Kathy C does the locker room interviews with Preparing to Interview a Job Candidate posted at The Thriving Small Business.

Dallas Burrows breaks down the Xs and Os with What Exactly Is Management Theory? posted at Biz-gasm.

Elyse Nielsen presents the game ball with Searching for Healthcare IT Leadership - Uncovering Your IT Practices posted at Anticlue.

Bob Lieberman interviews the coaches and gives us Teaching Leadership Skills posted at Cultivating Creativity – Developing Leaders for the Creative Economy.

That's it for this month's edition! The October 3rd edition will be hosted by Mary Jo Asmus at Aspire-CS.

Here's an eye-opening and provacative post by Brad Smart, reprinted with his permission from his Topgrading blog:

A Player executives have very common reading habits, and what they read varies dramatically from what C Players and lower level managers read. For anyone aspiring to be a successful CEO, or a C-level executive, emulating the reading habits of the best and the brightest might give you an edge.

Sorting through my hard copy files of 6,500+ senior executives I focused on C-level executives (CEOs and those reporting to CEOs) who are North American, and only those whom I rated "A Player." There are about 500 in the sample.

First I'll report the results, and then explain why those executives believe their reading habits give them a competitive advantage in their career.

The Results of the Study: What Periodicals A Player Executives Read:

1. Wall Street Journal - Almost all read the front page and in the Opinion section, the Review and Outlook column (this column, in my sample, is the single most powerful source of political thought for senior executives).

For all the remaining periodicals, most executives skim them and only read a few articles.

2. Forbes
3. Fortune
4. BusinessWeek
5. The Economist
6. trade publications (all skim their industry "rags")
7. New York Times
8. local newspapers - almost all skim one or two

Over the past 3½ decades the above list has hardly changed, although many executives read online versions these days, supplementing reading these publications with headlines and 1-paragraph "articles" they receive as soon as they turn on their PC. Younger executives (in the 30's or younger) read much less than their older counterparts, and small company (fewer than 500 employees) read much less than Global 1000 executives.

What Books Do They Read?

The bigger company executives read a couple of books per month, typically one fiction (for relaxation) and one good, solid non-fiction book - topics such as how international politics impacts business, best sellers such as Good to Great (Collins), and books on strategy, and finance (understanding the subtle implications of finance/accounting/M & A). Recently Kindle and iPad have captured the imagination of only a small percentage of our sample, but they are enthusiasts! AudioTech Book Summaries is a great way to get written and audio summaries of books.

TV and Radio Sources of Information

Most top executives watch national and international news, particularly business news, programs, daily. And when in a car they sometimes listen to news stations. But they say that what they read gives them the most in-depth understanding.

How to "Skim" Articles

You might wonder how busy executives have time to, as listed above, "skim" so many periodicals. Any business writer knows the answer: as a writer you use the first sentence in each paragraph to say what you're going to say, and then you say it. So, to skim and get most of the "meat," read the first sentence of each paragraph.

How to Read Your Way into the Executive Suite

Forgive my cute title; I'm dramatizing a truth that most mid-managers simply don't get: if you want to BE an executive, THINK like an executive, and in order to do that, READ what the best, brightest, A Player executives read.

We don't assess or coach many mid-managers, but we conduct a lot of 2-day Topgrading workshops, and during meals and breaks we frequently find out what mid-managers read. Those who will not break into the C suite read mostly sports and entertainment magazines, and almost no books.

And most mid-mangers bore the heck out of A Player top executives. I can see it at lunches in which the top team dines with lower-level managers. Top executives in global companies know that international and domestic policies of 30 nations will affect their business, and if they are tuned into the powerful underlying forces in the world, and their competitors aren't, they win. And they want their peers and rising stars to be global in their views as well.

So in hundreds of lunches we've seen a typical scenario play out, in which a top executive is testing, to see which mid-managers have that global perspective:

CEO: "So, are oil prices going to go up or down?"

Mid-manager: "There are 5 factors pushing up and as many down," (whether the answer is up or down is irrelevant; what the CEO wants to see is a globally sophisticated response from a manager who reads, learns, analyzes, connects the dots, and forms an opinion).

Other CEO-instigated discussions in the past couple of years:

"How will an Israeli attack on Iran nuclear facilities affect our business?"

"Will the Chinese float their currency, and if they do, what will the impact be on our company?"

"Is now a good time to buy back our stock?"

"What acquisitions, if any, make sense for us?"

"How will likely tax rates in the next couple of years affect our business?"

Too often such questions are met with an awkward silence, with mid-managers embarrassed and their expressions are daffy. "I dunno," they say, raising their shoulders. And if the CEO asks, "What do you folks read?" the awkward silence tells all.

What Reading Habits Drive CEOs Nuts

Many CEOs have complained, "Young managers these days live in their own little narcissistic world, and find current events boring and depressing. Too many mid-managers these days think like technical professionals, specialists who will never understand the big picture. Stated bluntly, they are not well-read and they are not well-informed."

Why Reading Your Way into the Executive Suite Works

About a zillion years ago I entered grad school, and mentor, Dr. Bob Perloff, who became President of the American Psychological Association, said, "Brad, to get out of here (Purdue) with a doctorate, all you have to do is make the professors think of you as their peer." Good advice - translated it meant sure, get the grades and do the papers, but more than that find out what the professors read, what conferences they attend, what issues they exuded passion over, how they think.

That's what A Player CEOs want - direct reports and high potential lower level managers they consider peers, who share their concerns for not just how tactical issues should be addressed, but how world and national issues and policies will affect the business.

SUMMARY: To be an A Player top executive, learn what the CEO and other top executives think about, what global/national/business issues they are passionate about, and to get inside their brain - read what they read, so they consider you well-read, and well-informed.

Note from Dan: So what do you think of Brad's advice? Is it more about "looking good" than "being good", or is it about developing a genuine CEO mindset? How about the reading list - any surprises?

This post is written for the everyday manager, HR manager, coach, or consultant that doesn’t have the time or interest to learn about validation, reliability, confirmatory factor analysis, correlation coefficients, and adverse impact. However, you’re using assessments, and you know just enough to be dangerous. Oh yeah, that pretty much describes me. Maybe you too.

I’ve written about assessments for leadership development before. While there are lots of them to choose from, the common ones used for development tend to be 360 degree assessments (multi rater) and personality preferences (DISC,  Kolbe, Hogan, FIRO-B).

Most of my work involves development assessments. That is, the manager takes an assessment, the results go back to the manager, and a coach helps to interpret the results and come up with a development plan.

Here is where I see managers and organizations get into potential trouble: they want to take that favorite development assessment and use it to make selection decisions. They may get a copy of the assessment from a naive or unethical HR manager or coach, or, they might just “ask” the individual directly for a copy.

In most cases, it’s done with good intentions. Managers want to make a smart hiring or promotion decision, so they are trying to learn as much as they can about the candidate. Also, if they do end up hiring the person, they can get a jump-start on their development.

I’m guessing some of you are already doing this, even if you’ve been warned not to.

So what’s the harm?

Here’s the problem:

I’ll start with the legal/HR stuff you’ve probably already heard: if it’s not tested for “validity” (it measures what it’s supposed to measure) and “reliability” (it’s consistent over time), you could get your #%* taken to court and sued.

A disgruntled candidate could claim that you used the results of that assessment to make your hiring decision and it was bogus. Therefore, selection assessments require a stack of research and are held to a much higher standard than your average free online personality assessment or horoscope. And let’s face it – if someone takes one of these things for development – and it’s bogus – who cares? However, if someone doesn’t get hired or promoted because or it, it’s a big deal.

It’s been my experience that “we could get sued” doesn’t always stop a lot of maverick managers from taking risks. Well, good for you. So let me give you a more compelling reason: if you use an assessment that has not been “benchmarked” to the position you’re hiring for, you could end up making a stupid hiring decision.

That is, you really don’t know what the candidate’s assessment profile is telling you. You may end up favoring somebody because of personal preferences (or bias) - that have nothing to do with performing well in the job.

The concept of benchmarking is really pretty simple. It works better when you have a lot of incumbents already in the position you are hiring for. You just need to administer the assessment to the top 10 performers and the bottom 10 performers (without telling them that they are the 10 worst of course). Then, look for differences between the best and worst performers, and establish an ideal profile for the position. That way, you’ll identify the stuff that really matters for success in that specific job.

Make sure you have benchmark for each job, even if you’re using the same assessment. A success profile for an engineer looks very different than one for a sales role.

If a candidate falls above or below the ideal profile, it does not mean they couldn’t do the job – it just means it could be harder for them. If anything, it gives you an idea of what you need to poke at during the interview process.

Now, you could use the results of a selection assessment for development if you end up hiring the candidate. However, usually selection reports don’t include that kind of detailed information –you’ll need to purchase a development report for an additional cost.

BTW, for those of you that that are the extreme other end of the continuum - that is, that organizations should NEVER use personality assessments for selection - you're wrong. Most organizations use them, and as long as they are benchmarked (validated), it's perfectly OK. Except for the MBTI - which measures psychological type..., not personality. Like I said, just enough to be dangerous. (-:

Finally, a manager should never use the results of any one assessment – even one that’s properly benchmarked – to make a hiring decision. That’s just plain lazy and ineffective. Assessments should also be combined with good old-fashioned selection interviewing and reference checking.

I hope this helps de-mystify the difference between development and selection assessments. Yes, assessments are can be good tools for development and selection - just don’t get the two of them mixed up, or you won’t be doing yourself or your company any favors.

I hate the term “soft skills”. To me, it’s a weak and misleading label that attempts to categorize everything that really matters about leadership and business success into a bucket of fluff. Any leadership development professional should know better.

Given that, I know it’s a common term used by every day people. It’s because they don’t know what else to call “it” or how to define that stuff that seems to separate the haves and have nots.

When I was first learning about competency modeling, I’ll never forget what a consultant said to me that underscored the importance of the “soft stuff”.

We were in the process of building a leadership competency model and curriculum for a former company. At the time, we were having a debate about having a balance between the “hard” stuff – things like marketing, finance, operations, sales, industry experience, etc… and the “soft” stuff (listening, peer relationships, composure, vision, etc…). Our executives were leaning towards the second - the traditional MBA topic list of functional management skills.

The consultant asked our executive team: “Name one business that ever failed because of a lack of functional or technical expertise”.

You could hear crickets chirping for a few minutes – we couldn’t. That was almost 20 years ago, so that consultant was way ahead of the conventional wisdom at that time. Think about the recent challenges of some of our great car companies and banks. It sure wasn't due to a lack of engineering or financial expertise.

Fast forward to today: Jim Collins, in his book “How the Mighty Fall” spent four years researching how once great companies failed. He developed a five-stage model that describes the stages that each of these companies went though. They are:

1. Hubris born of success. Great companies can become insulated by success. People become arrogant, regarding success as an entitlement, and they lose sight of what made them successful in the first place.

2. Undisciplined pursuit of more. Companies stray from what led them to greatness in the first place and make undisciplined moves into areas where they can’t succeed.

3. Denial of risk and peril. Leaders discount negative data, amplify positive data, and post a positive spin on ambiguous data. They start to blame external factors rather than accept responsibility.

4. Grasping for salvation. They start looking for that “silver bullet” solution.

5. Capitulation to irrelevance or death. Turn out the lights, the fat lady is singing.

Collin’s recent work certainly supports the declaration made 20 years ago by my consultant friend – that organizations don’t fail because of a lack of technical, functional, or business skills – it’s always because of some kind of collective destructive mindset and behaviors.

The same is true for individual leaders.

The Center for Creative Leadership and Lominger has identified the following (through extensive research) as being executive “derailers” (I’ve combined elements of their research):

- Unable to adapt to differences
- Overly ambitious
- Arrogance
- Blocked personal learner
- Defensiveness
- Insensitive to others
- Non-strategic
- Failure to build a team
- Lack of composure
- Lack of ethics and values

Finally, in his groundbreaking research (200 large global companies) on “emotional intelligence” Daniel Goleman found the following components to be the biggest differentiators between leadership success and failure:

- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation (controlling your emotions)
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills

Wow, all of this soft, squishy, touchy feely stuff….. hubris, denial, insensitivity, empathy – sounds more like an episode from the Dr. Phil show than what’s taught in most business schools these days.

To be fair, I’m not sure this kind of stuff can even be taught in a college course or training program. According to Goleman, emotional intelligence increases with age – it’s called “maturity”. That doesn’t mean “the right stuff” can’t be developed – it’s just going to take a different approach. Aspiring leaders need to know what to do and not do, be exposed to positive roles models, get opportunities to practice and get behavioral feedback, and perhaps even have access to some professional coaching.

We can, however, incorporate this “right stuff” into our competency models or hiring profiles for selection and promotion. There are even 360 assessments and behavioral assessments that have been validated to measure these factors.

So what should you take away from all this?

1. Understand what really matters when it comes to business and leadership success.
2. Get feedback (early in your career or when your business is doing great, before it’s too late).

3. Never give in - take action to improve. If companies or individuals heed the early warning signs of failure, they can usually take action to prevent it.

Note: Many thanks to GL reader and manager Jon Housknecht (@WSTheHouse), for bringing the Goleman article “What Makes a Leader” to my attention and inspiring this post.