The Poor Mouth

a mad mental bastard ready to do the malkie on you

He may be BEELZE-BOB but I didn't think a cat could do so much damage yo my damn hand! normal service will be resumed when I can use my right hand

No posts of visiting for a day or two. I had a run in with Satan cat while tryng to extricate Boris from a fight. As I shooed Satan Cat away, he locked on my wrist and hand and proceeded to rake and bite. I had to lever the little bugger off by the scruff! And then he just stood his ground spoiling for a fight!

One trip to the polyclinic later, I have a bandaged hand and a course of pills that liik like they re more suited to a rhino!

Meanwhile the http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308820/Monster-veg-grower-shows-world-record-breaking-potato-shaped-like-Starship-Enterprise.html Mail has an item about a humungous potato which weighs in at over 8lb (About 3.3kg).A veritable monster but the headline and the copy gives the impression that this fine tuber somehow looks like the Starship Enterprise

Err I think not even if it had taken a huge kicking off the Klingons (pre-Khitomer), Romulans, Cardassians and the Dominion!


On the other hand perhaps they were referring to the Enterprise D after saucer separation...




God I need to watch less telly...

I've always meant to find out what Basket Case sounded like ever since reading Carl Hiaasen's novel of the same name. The song is a Zevon/Hiaasen collaboration. Was it worth it? well I quite like like it... it does feature a late, great singer songwriter and the chronicler of Florida's seamier side (even if steroid- addled, corrupt ex cops are not buggered to death by dolphins every day... but that is Native Tongue and not Basket Case!)

Trapped underground for a month a group of Chilean miners may have found a way to survive while waiting for a rescue that may be months away. The miners trapped underground I the San Jose mine in the Atacama Desert have each taken on specific naming a "priest", a "doctor", a "poet" a "TV presenter" and a "foreman" within the group.

"They are completely organised," said Dr Jaime Mañalich, Chile's health minister. "They have a full hierarchy. It is a matter of life and death for them… The worst scenario would be one of the men suffered severe psychosis for being trapped so long and attempted to claw their way out of the mine. As long as they are kept busy with defining roles we hope to avoid it."

The oldest member of the group Mario Gomez, 62, has taken on the role of spiritual leader and urges the men to pray daily in the makeshift chapel he has created in a corner of the subterranean chamber.
His job has been aided by 33 mini bibles and rosary beads for each of the men sent from the Vatican this week with a blessing from Pope Benedict XVI and lowered into the mine with the daily supplies of food and medicine.

Another of the miners, Yonny Barrios Rojas, 50, is using knowledge gained on a nursing course he attended in the mid-1990s to administer medicines to the group including vaccinations against tetanus, pneumonia and flu and performing daily health checks.

Victor Zamora has penned a poem describing the first 17 days they were trapped down the mine without contact with the outside world. "It's a moving piece of work especially from someone who until now had no inclination to write," explained Alberto Iturra, a psychologist at the site. "Each is finding their own role and their own way to express themselves and we think that is very healthy," he said.


While engineers above ground continue the rescue operation to bore a 2,297 feet escape shaft to raise the men, the miners themselves have been told they will play a critical role in rescue. The miners must prepare themselves to ensure they are fit to work as the drill gets closer. They men will need to move an estimated 4,000 tons of rock and earth that will fall into their chamber as the rescue shaft is cleared.

Luis Urzua, the 54-year-old leader of the shift, has mapped out the chamber in preparation for the mammoth job required in the final stages of the rescue, which could take as long as three to four months. He will also organise the men and oversee the work when the time comes.

I hope for the sake of these men that their society holds together. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be where they are. I do not know if I would have their strength of endurance. Here’s hoping that their rescue is as quick as possible

NOT Guilty!

Yesterday’s Telegraph carried a news item that at allowed those of us who loved the tales of Peter Pan to breathe a huge sigh of relief! The LAPD has cleared Peter Pan creator J M Barrie of any link to the mysterious deaths of two babies in the 1930s. Police had discovered their mummified remains in a locked trunk belonging to a JM Barrie.

The bodies were discovered last month when two women were clearing out the abandoned basement of an apartment building.
The corpses were wrapped in sheets and hidden in two doctor's bags among crumpled copies of 1930s newspapers and other belongings from that decade.

The only clue to the babies' identity was the name J M Barrie on the steamer trunk's lid. Investigators announced last week that, after reading correspondence from relatives left in the trunk, they had identified the trunk's owner as Janet M Barrie, a Scottish-born nurse who had worked in Los Angeles after her family emigrated to Canada (and not Kirriemuir’s most famous son James M Barrie… or second most famous son if you rate AC/DC over Peter Pan.. Bon Scott having been from said town too!)

Coroners have been unable to determine how the babies died but said there was no signs of trauma or that they were aborted. One had apparently reached full term while the other was much smaller and could have been a foetus or born prematurely.

Among the theories being examined by police is that Miss Barrie had children but that they did not survive or were aborted. Another possibility, said officers, is that they were babies she helped deliver in the apartment building who later died.

Whatever the reason it is heartening to know that the more famous J M Barrie was not involved. This is not the first time that such a misunderstanding has taken place. Last year partly consumed human remains were found in a Galloway cave which bore the graffiti “S..n Bean woz ere”. It was only after extensive interviews and forensic analysis that police concluded that the Bean in question was Sawney and not Sean!

A truly great song

In the Green Lake of Summer

In the green lake of summer,

lonelier than a leaf,

with my pack of olden joy,

I slowly ride to the land of void.



In the cold shore of fall,

I gave into the pale shade of pines:

This shade of fleeting loves

This shade of brief laughs

This shaking blind of life…



At nights,

while this down roof, the sad sky, is tapped

by the cold breath of a wandering breeze;



At nights,

when a wide, wounded haze is poured

in the blue lanes of our drained veins;



At nights,

at nights of our intimate meets

with bouncing vibration of our souls

a sore feel of life is heaved

only in pounds of our pulse;

an odd, ailing feel of life.



“The hopeful core of the vales is loaded by painful secrets.”

This saying is carved on firm face of peaks.

This saying is carved by whom that one night

all at once, sliced this constant silence of the mounts

by sharp echo of their truthful shouts.



“I like this calm in the lonely heart of the remains.”

A woman recited this verse,

in the green lake of summer.



A woman rhymed this chant,

with all swings of tides,

a women who occupied for a while,

that deserted deepness of the wild.



She sang:

"We poison each other

with warmth of our every word:

this toxic air of delight of life.



We are scared of the parched song of waft.

We are faded in the dark fright of doubt.



We are shaking, shaking, shaking

in daydreaming nightmare of collapse of roof

on the secret, golden garden of our love."



"Now you are with me,

Now you are with me:

Expanded, spread like fine scent of rose

in neat lanes of dawn.



Now you are with me,

intense on my chest

burning in my hands

fainting, blazing, mad,

all over my curls,

Now I am with you."



"Something,

Something massive of darkness, of shades

Confusing, unclear, vague,

like an onwards hymn of the old days

is rotating, inflating in front of my closing eyes:



I feel being spent, cornered, captured,

far from my lakes,

distant from my boat,

after the final gates…

I feel…scared."



" We had grown on this vain side of turf.

We met with that flying white knight of void,

ruling over all tads of routes."





"We are content, glad and calm.

And we are still, sad and silent.



We are content since we are indeed in love,

We are cheerless because in fact love is doomed."



Translated by Maryam Dilmaghani and appearing on her superb website on Forough Farrokhzad The Sad Little Fairy

The theme for the week's Photo Hunt is hot Here is a flame spurting from the top of our incinerator. You could feel the heat from a fair distance

I know it hardly comes as a big surprise to read that the Iranian regime's hired thugs are using violence to destroy dissent but they are at it again. This time the target is Mehdi Karroubi

AP reports that Pro-government militiamen attacked Karroubi's home with homemade bombs and beat one of his bodyguards unconscious.

Karroubi has remained a public dissenter — with his car being the target of pro-government mobs several times. But authorities also have directed pressure on Green Movement leader Mir Hossein Mousavi and former President Mohammad Khatami.Crowds also encircled Karroubi's residence for several hours Friday as Iranians filled Tehran's streets for the annual state-sponsored rally known as Quds Day, or Jerusalem Day.

The government uses the occasion as an anti-Israel outpouring and to show its support for the Palestinians. But last year, Karroubi and other opposition leaders marked the day by gathering tens of thousands of their own supporters into the streets, and violent clashes broke out with security forces.

Crowds of hard-line protesters have gathered at the gate of Karroubi's home for several days, apparently because they believed he would try to attend the rally again this year, though none of the opposition leaders has called for demonstrations.

Mousavi condemned the attack on Karroubi's home, saying it proved the government's "enmity against Israel is an excuse" for attacking opposition figures. "Karroubi and figures like him and other freedom-seekers are the real enemies of authoritarians."

On Thursday, Tehran police chief Gen. Hossein Sajedinia told the semi-official Fars news agency that police forces would be deployed in several parts of Tehran to maintain security during the rallies. There were no reports Friday of any opposition gatherings.

Maintain security? For that read shoot and beat the shit out of anyone who doesn't support the mullahs and their revolting regime. I still have hope that the regime is thrown into the gutter

According to National Geographic men with chronic insomnia have a higher risk of early death than "normal" male sleepers who get more than six hours sleep

After decades of mixed findings, the new report shows that insomnia is a "serious disease with significant physical consequences, including mortality," said study leader Alexandros N. Vgontzas, director of Penn State University's Sleep Research & Treatment Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Study leader Vgontzas and colleagues randomly selected 741 Pennsylvania men between 20 and 100, with an average age of 50, to participate in the initial phase of the study, between 1990 and 1995.

First, the volunteers identified themselves as either insomniacs or non-insomniacs. Then they spent a night in a sleep lab, where scientists confirmed how long the subjects slept.

By combining the subjects' self reports and the lab data, the team determined that 6 percent of the men had chronic insomnia.
Between 1994 and 1997, the sleep researchers studied a thousand women with a similar age range to the men. The team found that 9 percent of the women had chronic insomnia.

By the time the scientists checked in on the subjects in 2007—14 years later for the men, 10 for the women—51.1 percent of the male chronic insomniacs who slept fewer than six hours a night had died, versus 9.1 percent of the normal male sleepers.

The findings suggest that chronic male insomniacs are four times more likely to die early—even after taking into account risk factors such as smoking, obesity, and sleep apnoea,


There was no such link between insomnia and premature death in women—insomniacs and healthy sleepers both had a mortality rate of just over 2 percent during the study period.

Causes of insomnia are still poorly understood—it may be that some people are just "born poor sleepers," Vgontzas said. But even more mysterious is how to treat the condition.

For instance, insomnia medications are mostly geared toward combating occasional sleeplessness, and psychological interventions such as cognitive behavioural therapy don't seem to work for severe insomniacs, he said.

Oh bugger now I’ve got another reason to be awake into the wee small hours!

From the age of 16 until my late 30s I did my bit to raise the Government’s coffers by smoking at least a pack of cigs a day (at one point nearly two packs). It was only the choice between breathing and smoking that made me reconsider my position (and by hell it was a tough decision!). In all that time did Geoffrey Howe, Nigel Lawson, Kenneth Clarke, The Prince of Greyness, , Badger Lamont or Gordon Brown once thank me for paying more tax while reducing the amount of time I would draw a pension?


A typical Chancellor, note the lack of gratefulness...

Russian counterpart Alexei Kudrin has announced increases in duty on alcohol and cigarettes, However the Telegraph reports that he has acknowledged the sterling, nay, STAKHANOVITE efforts of Russian smokers and barflies!

He is reported to have said that that by smoking a pack, “you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates. People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state,” he told the Interfax news agency.

Alcohol and cigarette consumption are already extremely high in Russia, where 65 per cent of men smoke and the average Russian consumes 18 litres of alcoholic beverages per year, mainly vodka, according to official statistics.

Duties on cigarettes are among the lowest in Europe, with most brands priced at around 40 roubles (85p) per pack and unfiltered cigarettes selling for much less.

Once again there you have it. Perhaps I should have been awarded at least an MBE for my past services to the Exchequer! Add to that the heroic amounts of alcohol I used to drink, especially while part of the Immigration Service and perhaps it should be upgraded to at least a CBE!

Strange even after the best part of 10 years of not smoking I still think that they float down from heaven on the wings of Cherubim… Until I smell one of the bloody things any way!

The Telegraph has an article which may go some way to explaining why I suffer fools less gladly than I may have done in my youth Far from feeling down about the younger generation's lifestyle and behaviour, the elderly actually revel in their misfortune.

A new study suggests that older people take a joyfully curmudgeonly approach to whippersnappers - when given a choice, older people prefer to read negative news, rather than positive news, about young adults, a new study suggests.

In fact, older readers who chose to read negative stories about young individuals actually get a small boost in their self-esteem, according to the results.

“Our results bolster the argument that people use the media to enhance their social identity,” said Professor Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, lead author of the study at Ohio State University.

Younger people, who are less certain about their own identity, prefer to read about other younger people to see how they live their lives, Prof Knobloch-Westerwick said. Older people, on the other hand, have greater certainty regarding their identity.

Prof Knobloch-Westerwick conducted the study with Matthias Hastall of Zeppelin University Friedrichshafen in Germany.

The study included 178 younger adults aged 18 to 30 and 98 older adults aged 50 to 65. All came to a computer laboratory, where they were told they were testing an online magazine that was not yet available to the public.

The experimental magazine was created specifically for the study and contained 10 carefully pre-tested stories. Each story focused on one individual, but there were two different versions: one that had a negative spin and one with a positive spin.

Each participant was offered just one of the two versions.
Participants in the study were told they would not have time to read all the stories and were asked to click on the stories that they found interesting. Each was given a random mix of positive and negative stories about younger and older people.

Results showed that the older participants were more likely to select negative articles about younger people, but they did not show a strong preference for either positive or negative stories about people in their own age group. Younger people showed low interest in articles about older individuals – regardless of whether the stories were positive or negative. They did choose to read more positive stories about their own age group than they did negative stories, she said.

Afterwards participants were given a short questionnaire aimed at measuring their self-esteem. Results showed that younger people showed no differences in self-esteem based on what they had read. However, the more that older people read negative stories about younger individuals, the higher the older people’s levels of self-esteem tended to be.

Well there you have it. Perhaps we just like to see the pups put in their place ☺

But on the positive side my psoriasis seems too have improved a bit

Place beer inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then deep fry in oil for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic. Et voila, deep fried beer!

According to the Telegraph When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious sensation (a scalded tongue?).


Inventor Mark Zable said it had taken him three years to come up with the cooking method and a patent for the process is pending. He declined to say whether any special ingredients were involved. Mr Zable has so far been deep frying Guinness but said he may switch to a pale ale in future.

Err It's a bit late (or a bit early for) April Fool posts and the source of this was not the National Perspirer or an Alium related website but I think I'll drink my stout in a glass as nature intended!